“Who am I?”
As my eyes fluttered open, that was my first thought of the day. It had been my last thought the night before and the trend seemed to be continuing, as much as I didn’t want to think about it. I had no time to think about all these personal things. There were too many things that needed to be done today.
With a yawn, I swept the thought to the side. Without looking at the mirror, I got ready for work. When I was done I put on my first mask of the day and headed out the door. As I listened to my heels click against the pavement, the question I tried to push back made it’s way back to the front of my mind.
“Who am I?”
I am a secretary at the office. I always speak clearly and use the most formal speech possible. I want to appear professional and set a good example for my co-workers. My hair is well washed and neat. There isn’t a single hair out of place. My shirt is always buttoned and my clothes always follow the dress code. The other people who work on my floor are very fond of me. Some people have even asked me out, but even if I weren’t in a relationship, I would say no. I don’t want to cause any unnecessary issues in the workplace.
Even when the people that call our phones are a bit much for most to handle, I keep a level head. Screaming at people who don’t know what they’re doing doesn’t help after all. Today, I worked diligently throughout the day and did my best to tune out my angry boss. He was shouting at the whole floor angry that one of his business endeavors didn’t work out. For a brief moment, I entertained the thought of making a suggestion but I quickly dismissed the idea. I wouldn’t want to anger anyone, especially with an idea that might not even work. It was best to just mind my own business and continue my own duties. I readjusted the mask that I had felt peeling its way off when I entertained the ridiculous thought.
No..I don’t feel that this is me, at least not exactly. This mask is too tight and stuffy for me and so hard to breath as well! As I make my way home, watching the sun set, the evening breeze blew across my face. I began to think again.
“Who am I?”
I am someone with good friends. When I get home I sigh and smile to myself a little. Now with all the work done, I can finally relax. All work and no play isn’t really fun, you know? I put on a much looser mask and sit in my computer chair, relieved as I feel the tightness fade. I already have a missed call from one of my friends on skype. I adjust my mask a bit and wait for them to call me back.
The moment they call back I automatically feel less tight. They smile and joke around making me laugh, and I feel relaxed for a moment. So much so, that I almost feel comfortable, even with my mask coming off my face again. I hear another ding from skype and check to see who it is. The mask on my face suctions itself back into place. My other friend wanted to talk to me as well.
I hesitate, even when the friend that had called me first said it was fine if that was what I wanted to do. I’m not even entirely listening. I duck down, out of view from my webcam and pull out my box of masks. I put it on and make sure it’s on perfectly before I start the group call.
Even though both of my friends like me, they don’t like each other very much. I do my best to split time equally between the two of them. We don’t often hang out altogether because it always ends like this. They always start arguing over something silly, politics being the one for today. They try to drag me into it, asking who I agree with. I feel he mask begin to split in the middle and I quickly panic and cover my forehead. “I..I think both of them have their merits..” I mumble, just loud enough for the mic to pick up.
They seem to think for a moment, eyes looking up and to the side, tapping a finger against the desk. They both seem to agree on that and they come to a compromise about the whole thing, agreeing to disagree. They apologize for making me feel nervous which surprises me. How did they know?
I look into a mirror near me and notice that my mask had cracked in a few different places, revealing parts of my sad and nervous face. I shake my head and try to smile. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it, guys.” I hear my front door’s lock click open and I spin my head around. I didn’t notice that I was talking for so long, it must have been nightfall by now if he was home already! I tell my friends that I have to go for now, and close the skype call.
The chair creaks as I get up and walk across the carpet towards the door. I quickly put on another mask just as the door opened and moonlight flooded in. I smile from under my mask, clear enough for them to see. This mask is my most comfortable one, pretty and the perfect size. As I smile, though, the thought still jabs itself into my brain like a needle. Each decisive prod seems to form a syllable in my mind.
“Who. Am. I?”
I am someone who is in love. I hug and kiss my significant other after he takes off his coat. I apologize for not having dinner ready yet and laugh about how time seems to get away from me these days. My significant other has never been upset with me for not having things ready on time, but I still feel like I should apologize. He just laughs at my musing and kisses me back saying that he’ll help me with dinner and that we can do it together.
As I start cutting up the meat though I begin to think. I really love my boyfriend. We’ve been together for a very long time. I would never want to break up with him, but I feel like there are some things that we should talk about.
I feel like he should try and work another job so we can spend more time together. He is more than qualified for a better position anyway. I want to commit to him, marry him, and one day even have a family with him! I know he does as well, but I don’t feel like that we’re ready just yet. After we ate dinner, we sat on the couch watching a movie together.
The more I thought about telling them about what I was thinking, the more I felt my mask crack. He noticed and tried to take the mask off. “Are you alright?” He asked me. “You seem stressed out.” His voice was gentle and sweet. I nod stiffly. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
He smiles and then looks to the side. “You know…we’ve been so busy with work lately. We haven’t had time to be…intimate.” He leans close and smiles, trying to tempt me. I blush as I watch him. His eyes were so magnetic and beautiful. He was definitely right, and I wanted to spend some well…one on one time with him as well. He reached up and brushed against by mask. It was so delicate now that he managed to pull a few pieces away when he pulled his hand back.
I pulled away from him when I noticed that. I didn’t want him to see me like this, it was too easy for me to start spilling my guts. I didn’t want to upset him, or make him feel bad. Things were going so well, I didn’t want to be the one to ruin them. “I’m sorry…tonight might not a be a good idea. I’m already kind of tired.” He pouted a bit and sighed. “Alright, I get that. Maybe tomorrow?”
I bit my lip and took in a shaky breath trying to compose myself. “Yeah, tomorrow for sure. It is a weekend, after all, we can make a date out of it.” He got up from off the couch. I could hear his joints pop as he stretched out his tired muscles. “I’m going to turn in. It’s already midnight! Time really does fly so fast.” As I listened to the stairs creak as he went up, I could feel my mask returning back to its original state. I sighed in relief. He hadn’t tried to pry too much. I think if he had any more, I would have spilled out everything I was thinking. I couldn’t let him see that. I had to make sure I kept it together, for his sake if not mine.
After about an hour or so of flipping through channels, I yawned. I wished I had gone upstairs a little earlier. As I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed the question repeated itself over and over in my head, louder and louder. It was impossible to ignore even as I drifted off into a deep sleep.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I!? Who am I!? WHO AM I!?
My eyes fluttered open. I was in my neighborhood, and completely alone, tears running down my face. All the lights inside the houses were off and the streets were completely empty. The fog was my only company here. I looked around confused. With hesitation in my every step, I kept walking. Maybe if I kept walking and pretended everything was the same, I would be OK.
There was no such luck for me, though. Soon the sound of footsteps caught my attention. I tensed and looked up to the source of the sound. For some reason, it made me feel uneasy. After a few more clicks a figure broke through the fog. With every step, they changed shape. I recognized every new shape. A girl from work, a boy that lived next door, and many other people. I squinted at the figure confused. It stopped and stared back at me, now looking exactly like me.
It was ridiculous but I felt compelled to ask the figure the question. It was almost as if the question pushed its way up my throat without permission.
“Who am I?”
The person smiled in response. It was a wide unsettling grin that made me want to turn and run, but I didn’t. Something about its eyes made me stay stuck in place. Wordlessly it reached it’s hands up to its face and pulled off what I thought had been me. Instead, it was nothing more than a hard plastic mask. It threw it away from its face like a candy wrapper. It’s face looked like a piece of clay that been squeezed and pounded a few times. The creature held out its hand and a new mask formed.
It grabbed my shoulder and shoved the tight uncomfortable mask onto my face. It leaned close to my left ear and whispered in a raspy and almost broken sounding voice, an answer to my question.
“You are whoever or whatever is acceptable to me.”
I sat upright in bed, heart pounding in my chest, sweat dripping down my body. I looked around the room expecting to see the figure. After my heart rate slowed I let out a relieved sigh. It had all been a nightmare. It was probably just because I was stressed as all.
As I got out of bed I realized that answer was true. I certainly couldn’t let anyone see my bad side. I would be in trouble if I did. No one would accept those flaws. I had to hide them, conceal them in the best way possible. My own feelings don’t matter as much as everyone else. I don’t want anyone to worry about me, or be upset with me. I want to look amazing to people, be admired by everyone I meet. I just want to be successful and keep out of trouble.
My phone rang and I went to check who it was. It was my boss. Confused, I picked it up. “Hello?” I asked in a drowsy voice. “It’s me. I need your help today. Can you come in?” As I blink I feel the tight and familiar sensation around my face. “Yes sir, if I can be of any help then I want to be there.” My boss thanked me and hung up the phone. I began to get ready to leave. Hopefully, this wouldn’t take too long, I did promise my boyfriend I would spend time with him as well.
I made my way to work getting used to the tight sensation on my face. In fact, today it wasn’t so bad. I felt a nice cool liquid from the inside running down my cheeks and down to the floor. I looked down at it and smiled. The substance that flowed out looked like the clay creature from my dream last night. I’m probably just imagining things, though. I don’t have time to check anyway.
The boss needs me.
Authors Note: Here is my first ever short story posted on this blog. It’s a Creepypasta story/dark story. I’m not sure if I should count it as a creepypasta since it’s more metaphorical, but in all honesty, I would say it is. It is pretty creepy if you realize what everything represents after all.
Please give feedback on this! If you have Tumblr a reblog and/or like would be a huge help to me as well! Reposts/likes on any other site would be helpful as well! If anyone wants to narrate this, feel free, but please leave a link to the original story and give me credit for it!
Story is Copyright Of Venus on: https://bravocube.wordpress.com/